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WTF? series

WTF? On Film: Guilty Pleasures

MEGA SPOILERSWe all have movies we’re slightly ashamed to admit we love, particularly if we’re screenwriters. Those movies might be unoriginal, hammy, badly executed with plenty of WTF? moments. Yet inexplicably these movies speak to us: we love them, watch them over and over again. We just can’t help ourselves. I don’t think there’s a single person in the world who doesn’t have at least one embarrassing DVD on their shelf. For me, it’s Underworld: Rise of The Lycans. The first movie was awful and the second even more so, but this one is great fun. I think it’s because… Read More »WTF? On Film: Guilty Pleasures

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WTF? On Film # 8: Crank 2 High Voltage

This is a message to all who have brains in the audience (and presumably hearts in their chests?): please, for the love of all that is holy, (whether that’s God, chocolate or Dr Who to you) don’t watch Crank 2: High Voltage. I have gone through that pain for you. And I can’t tell you it ain’t good pain. For the record, I enjoyed Crank. I’m not Mary Whitehouse, I can dig films that are both ridiculous and non-PC. Plus the sight of Jason Statham with no shirt on is always going to appeal. Whilst Crank sailed close to the… Read More »WTF? On Film # 8: Crank 2 High Voltage

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WTF? ON FILM # 7: Wilderness

SPOILERS GALORESo at the weekend I found the Brit movie Wilderness in a bargain bin. I was surprised to see it, I’d never heard of it before – especially since it starred horror/gore fave Sean Pertwee and was directed by Michael J Bassett, who directed one of my fave Brit movies ever, Deathwatch. One of the critics on the back of the DVD box hailed it as “Dog Soldiers meets Scum with a side order of Lord Of The Flies”. What’s not to like there?! Add that to the fact The Hub has worked with young offenders, it seemed the… Read More »WTF? ON FILM # 7: Wilderness

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WTF? On Film 6: Mirrors

SPOILERS APLENTY When The Hub phoned me from the DVD store to report the only two recent movies we haven’t seen were this week Max Payne starring Mark Wahlberg and Mirrors starring Kiefer Sutherland, there seemed to be no contest. I’ve long since loved Ol’ Kief, since he’s starred in such childhood faves of mine Flatliners, Lost Boys and Young Guns and since of course there has been the fabulous 24. Plus Mirrors is directed by Alexandre Aja and I liked his remake of The Hills Have Eyes. So I settled down with Hub, some crisps and beer for what… Read More »WTF? On Film 6: Mirrors

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WTF? On Film 5: A Franchise Too Far

SPOILERS AHOY Yes, yes, they often made loads of money; yes, *someone* out there must’ve liked them and yes, I can only hope of writing a film that gets this kind of attention!! But to wrap up my WTF? series, here’s some of the movie franchises I think just did NOT quit while they were ahead… —————————————————————————————— 2 Fast 2 Furious. So we do the same movie – but this time ONLY with the really dull guy from the first? Puh-lease. Oh, but they’re still going: Tokyo Drift came after that and apparently there’s another in the pipeline, though Vin… Read More »WTF? On Film 5: A Franchise Too Far

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WTF? On Film 4: The Running Man

As regular readers know, I’ve always had a soft spot for Arnie, probably becuase he’s always been in the kind of movies I favour – the ones with monsters, extreme violence and quirky quips. My Dad was a big fan in the middle of Arnie’s heyday, so it was kind of inevitable: he had all the Big Man’s movies on VHS. We’d watch Arnie’s comedies like Twins together – but I was told I was SO grounded if I watched the likes of The Running Man or Predator. Hah. By the time I got to secondary school in 1990, I… Read More »WTF? On Film 4: The Running Man

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WTF? On Film 3: Van Helsing

SPOILERS DELUXE I can just imagine the Execs who commissioned VAN HELSING: “Get me a screenwriter who can deliver a script based on the Dracula myth… but make it new and make sure there’s some like, ninja stars/mini buzz saws in it. Oh: and Frankenstein. And Jekyll & Hyde. And monks. And hell! Let’s shove some werewolves in too, why not? But make sure there’s a reason FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING IN IT – except maybe the ninja star/buzz saws, we’ll let them off that one. And call Hugh Jackman, he looks good with his shirt off, maybe he carry long… Read More »WTF? On Film 3: Van Helsing

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WTF? On Film 2: Doomsday

HERE THERE BE SPOILERS I had high hopes for Doomsday: the trailer looked cool I thought and I’d enjoyed both of writer/directior Neil Marshall’s previous efforts, The Descent and Dog Soldiers, bar a few minor quibbles over character. But horror is not *usually* noted for sympathetic characters and let’s face it, the boys in Dog Soldiers had some killer lines: “So if Red Riding Hood turns up with a bazooka and a bad attitude, I want you to chin the bitch!” Plus The Descent was one of the few horror movies to freak me out so royally I needed to… Read More »WTF? On Film 2: Doomsday

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WTF? On Film 1: Silent Hill

MEGA SPOILERS PRESENT When I first watched Silent Hill, I had no idea it was previously a video game. Even if I had, I doubt it would have deterred me; though I have never played on form of games system in my entire life (that’s right!) and have zero interest in computer games generally, I am actually of the opinion video games *can* create interesting, fun, movies – just as I believe comic books (sorry! GRAPHIC NOVELS) can too. And I wasn’t disappointed by Silent Hill (for the first three quarters anyway, but I’ll come back to that in a… Read More »WTF? On Film 1: Silent Hill

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