So my little boy comes home from school last night, minus his Tamagotchi. For those of you who don’t know, these creatures are allowed in school now because they can be “paused” (in other words, manufacturers wised up to the fact kids had to leave them at home all day with parents who couldn’t work them so they died and kids lost interest, it seems). They evolve too: Susan grew up, had a baby Keith which evolved to become Ned who had his own baby called Flib (Ned and Susan are in the old folks’ home: Flib can visit them on the internet! They think of everything.)
I digress. Alf comes home WITHOUT Flib – I ask: did he leave her in his tray at school? “Adam has it.” The boy replies. Adam? Who’s Adam? Why has he got Flib? I get all maternal and overprotective, but Alf merely says: “He’s babysitting tonight. I needed the night off.”
Kids, hey.
Hey, Alf is a smart kid! Do you hire him out to speak sense to adults, at all?
Absolutely. For one million pounds he’s all yours Lara, just for one week mind though. He LOVES London, especially the Natural History Museum. What time are you picking him up???
Whoa…hang fire. Mine may be minus in age but is already kicking sense left, right and centre!
No – I think you could hire Alf out to, say, Prime Minister’s Questions; Newsnight; Gordon Brown’s speech writers; the BBC commissioners (for losing Neighbours after 21 years to C.Five) – you know, that kind of thing?
Having said that, if you need him outta the way for your move, send him on up! I’ll drop him by Parliament 😉