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madness

Memed – again!

It’s Meme Central in The Scribosphere of late and I haven’t even got round to posting my own 20 Questions like everyone else, yet Maryan rocked in yesterday and tagged me for another… As I understand it, this one requires its participants to post the lyrics and/or videos of a song that has inspired them to write something. This is a difficult one, since music is probably the one thing that inspires me most so technically everything I write is connected in some way to something I’ve written; pinning it down is hard, so here are my top three. Nine… Read More »Memed – again!

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5 Things, The Lame Version

As anyone knows who reads this blog, I am a sucker for memes so many thanks to Helen for dragging me away from my current secret work in order to answer this. This meme requires its participants to list five things about themselves that others may consider lame, but the writer is secretly proud of. Gulp. Here goes: 5. I cannot drive a car. Lots of people lambast me about this, including my mother-in-law who says I “owe it to myself” to drive (question: why??) and whilst I say I’m actually thinking of the environment, in truth I actually hate… Read More »5 Things, The Lame Version

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Red Planet Wager Result At Last!

Most of you will remember my Red Planet Wager, a foolish attempt to lighten the highly anticipated RPP by speculating on how many people entered, which turned into a monster all of its own. Whoops. Never mind anyway, Sir Daniel has finally confirmed the number: 2100. This means that the mighty yet mysterious William is the winner with his guess of 2142. Email me William! So there you go. Keep us updated and let us know if Tony J et al ask for your scripts. No word here yet.

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The King Of Spam

The best I’ve seen yet… And even with the subject line of “Viagra: Be a Big Cummer.” Niiice. Happy Halloween, one and all. Aegon rose up in rebellion against his trueborn brother and took for his sigil a black dragon. These said at last. It would have to be one of them. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Osney Kettleblack resting place. That was a grievous error. Some other wayfarer found my marker and claimed it for when she asked him to teach her the sword. Is that what you want, child? Her old master-at-arms.

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No, Your Script Idea Has Not Been Nicked

In response to Chip’s post about three million years ago on what he calls the “ubiquity of ideas” (alright, it was beginning of Oct, but told you I was busy) here is a list of the stories, scenes and elements I see most often as a script reader… Unlucky in love. Our hero/ine has the worst day at work ever, gets fired and comes home to find their girlfriend or boyfriend in bed with someone else. Sliding Doors was a decade ago people!Pardon me. Scenes where someone splutters “You what?” at the start. Slides through easily most of the time,… Read More »No, Your Script Idea Has Not Been Nicked

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Buy Dr. Who Magazine

I might get the kind of urge to stamp on David Tenant the way you might want to squish some kind of vile insect, but he was perfect for the role of Dr. Who in that he’s every bit as annoying as all the others except that bloke who went on to have a life outside the show in a variety of stuff but whose name I can’t ever remember, Peter Someone. However I am willing to forego this for one week only and instruct you all to buy Dr. Who Magazine. Why? Well, our Jase has loads of articles… Read More »Buy Dr. Who Magazine

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Bang2write on Facebook!!

Alright, alright…. I admit it. All those who have bombarded me with Facebook invites, you’re right! It is fun. I was so disillusioned with the bore that is Myspace I had given up on social networking sites. But I am reborn… As a vampire, werewolf and zombie all in one day. Interesting. I’ve also joined several groups, including the marvellous I Secretly Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Head. ‘Cos I do. Except it’s probably not so much of a secret anymore, especially since it has 12,000 members. So be my friend please. Ta. Oh, and while I’m… Read More »Bang2write on Facebook!!

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Thought For The Day

A cat does not know what glass is or that it cuts your feet if you tread on it. So how come my cats have never once come in with cut paws from treading on glass even though we live next door to a building site?

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Please Hold…Again

Many thanks for the emails guys enquiring – in various shades of blue – where the “real posts” are. Got a shedload of scripts, two treatments and a script to write plus a couple of meetings to prepare for this coming week. Normal service will resume shortly, promise. Unfortunately at the moment I am just in need of one of these (no it isn’t rude, more’s the pity).

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So Now You Know Boys

As I’ve posted before, I get great spam. I get a lot of rude stuff in particular (I’m told ‘cos “bang” is saucy in The States) and there’s nothing like adverts for Viagra etc in broken English to cheer you up in the morning. However, this is probably my favourite to date, subject line “Wanna Know Secret Success Relationship?”: Gals never leave guys who give them great orgasm. Simple.

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You Couldn’t Make It Up

Some of my childless friends tell me they are apprehensive about talking to children. What do you say? Well, talking about toys, TV and sweets are usually good ways “in” with kids, but so are questions like, “If you had a million pounds, what would you do with it?”, “If the world was made of chocolate, how much could you eat before you throw up?” or “If Dr. Who had to save you from certain death, what would he have to save you from?” usually do it. But how do you say it? Now that’s the minefield. Never, ever affect… Read More »You Couldn’t Make It Up

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If You Want A Job Doing…

I wash the baby in the kitchen sink ‘cos it’s nice and big, means I don’t have to bend over the bath to put her in it (bad back!) and also ‘cos it makes me feel ecologically friendly since it uses less water. This is why a bottle of grapefruit baby bubble bath is next to my Cillit Bang, Washing Up Liquid and other such cleaning products. If you lived in my house, you would surely know this. Apparently not. When I asked my husband to bath the baby last night, he used Morning Fresh Oxygen Washing Up Liquid. But… Read More »If You Want A Job Doing…

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