The #1 Lie About Female Characters

There’s a #1 lie I hear all the time about female characters. You may have heard it yourself, or even thought it.

If you have, it’s not your fault. On the surface, it seems like common sense. After all, blogs like B2W have been warning for years that bad female characterisation is everywhere.

So-called self-styled ‘gurus’ online offer all kinds of female character fixes. These may range from sensible but overlooked ones like the ‘fridged woman’ through to the well-meaning but fundamentally flawed, like The Bechdel Test.

So what exactly is the #1 lie about female characters?

“A Husband & Kids Weakens Your Female Lead” 

Sorry … WTAF? Yes, that’s right. Loved ones apparently weaken your female lead. If I never have to hear this #1 lie again in Zooms, writers’ rooms or written feedback, it won’t be a moment too soon.

Look, I understand where this idea has come from, even as wrong-headed as it is. For a long time, female characters were sidelined, two-dimensional and defined solely by their husband and kids in stories as standard. Yuk.

But let me stress: there is nothing inauthentic or inherently wrong about your female lead having a spouse, or a family. According to The Office for National Statistics, in the UK …

• 49.5% of people are married or in civil partnership.
• A whopping 85% of people live with their partner (married or not).
• In addition, 42.8% of people have dependent children living with them.
• A further 15.8% of people have non-dependent, adult children living with them.

This means most British people will opt for a partner, with a good chunk of others having kids (as well, and/or as a single parent). I’m willing to wager real money it’s a similar picture in your country.

Family As Character Motivation?

As most Bang2writers know,  I was a teen mum. This means I’ve been a mother for two thirds of my life now. I’ve also been a wife now for a very long time, too.

I’ve always thought it hilarious that a family apparently ‘weakens’ female leads. As the protagonist of my own life, I feel it’s totally the opposite. The ‘Mama Bear’ (aka ‘Warrior Mom’) trope has long been a thing and I’ve always imagined myself as one.

Put simply: threaten my kids or hurt them in ANY way? I was f–king tear you limb from limb! 

Equally, my husband is my partner. I believe in him 100%. It’s why I chose him. I knew he would have my back for the past two decades, he absolutely has. That doesn’t mean our marriage is perfect, but he is what therapists call a green flag.

So the idea I am ‘weakened’ in any way by my husband and kids is laughable. I am known for my grit and determination. Yet my family gives me motivation to keep going, even when facing the worst kind of adverse life events.

I know I am not the only wife and mother who feels this way.  It can be the same for female characters in stories. Because – obviously. We want our characters to feel relatable and authentic. If real women feel this way, then there’s nothing wrong with female characters doing the same.

A Different Question To Consider

But are more wives and mothers OVERrepresented in stories? Arguably, yes.

According a 2017 report by The Center for the Study of Women In Television and Film, 46% of female leads have a known marital status. In contrast, only 32% of male leads do.

• Female characters do not all have husbands and children … but writers are more likely to specify whether they do.
• Their husband, children, pregnancy, divorce or romantic availability is more likely to affect their characterisation and plot.
• A male protagonist may have a wife and children, but he is more often allowed to leave them off-screen while he conducts the actual story.
• Childfree, unmarried or older women are still frequently treated as unusual, damaged, lonely or in need of explanation.

Pretty sobering stuff, though it is important to note 2017 is nearly a decade ago.

As I frequently say in my group programmes like B2W Academy: more has changed in my career the last 6-7 years than in the 15 years that preceded them. in the post-Covid era, we have seen a massive push forwards in representation, including gender.

Genre Makes A Massive Difference

Domestic thrillers, crime dramas, romance and contemporary women’s fiction are packed with wives and mothers. That said, lesbians, bisexual women, disabled women and women over fifty are much less likely to be shown with ordinary, established family lives.

Action, fantasy, horror and YA contain more unattached women, although they’re often given a romance instead. That’s why I decided to include young mum Elise in my post-apocalyptic Action thriller series, The Fall.

Elise is not your typical ‘Mum’. She is a young, ruthless opportunist. She looks after number one. But that doesn’t mean she is a bad mum. She will do anything for her son. ‘Number one’ now means her and Tarik.

As the series continues, Elise finds herself having to step up. She doesn’t have just Tarik to look after, but two other children. She becomes the guardian archetype (a role function most associated with male characters).

Elise protects, by whatever means necessary … not ‘in spite’ of being a mum, but BECAUSE of it.

Last Points on the #1 Lie About Female Characters

The lesson here is not that having a husband and kids is ‘bad’. It’s not. Hell, romance is not a bad thing either! It really grinds my gears when the fauxminists come for entire genres. Such flat readings are intellectually lazy.

So, don’t worry about your female lead’s family status. It isn’t automatically conventional or boring!

The important question is whether they feel like part of your female lead’s life or whether they’ve become her entire identity. A female lead can be a wife and mother while still having her own objective, expertise, moral failures, appetites *and* plot.

As I always say: I love being a wife and mother … But I also want to bathe in the blood of my enemies. Like Elise in The Fall.

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