All About Boy Meets Girl

‘Boy Meets Girl’ is a plotting archetype that underpins probably 90% of romance stories. Across all subgenres and cross-genres of romance, we can see it in action because that’s what our readers and viewers WANT.

I thought I would trace this powerful archetype and what makes it hit so hard. Ready? Let’s go …

‘Boy Meets Girl’, Beat for Beat

1)  The Set Up

Like all stories across all mediums and genres, this archetype begins with the set up. We join the protagonist in their normal life and understand what missing there on an emotional level. It’s usually tied to a character flaw or personal wound that shapes how they approach love.

MORE: 3 Simple Things Compelling Characters Need In Your Story

2) The ‘Meet Cute’

Next up: the Meet Cute. This is usually where writers go wrong in the unpublished novels or spec scripts I read. Writers will make the Meet Cute too ‘easy’ somehow … usually by making it ‘too’ positive or straightforward (whatever that means for the story).

Yet in great Meet Cutes, the connection is NOT smooth. There’s friction, intrigue, or a clash that creates tension straight away. This is most often sexual tension, but it doesn’t have to be.

MORE: Top 10 Tips On Writing Sexual Tension In Your Novel Or Screenplay

3) Resistance

Your characters can’t just get together immediately because it saps emotional jeopardy. Often, characters come from two different worlds – literal, metaphorical or both – that creates conflict between them. One or both hold back for external or internal reasons, which keeps the relationship from feeling too easy.

4) Growing Connection

The story then moves into growing connection. They’re thrown together, bond, and begin to see each other properly. This builds emotional intimacy before commitment.

5) Midpoint Change

At the midpoint, something needs to shift BIG TIME … and it can’t just be emotional. Something concrete needs to happen: a kiss, sleeping together for the first time, a wedding, a pregnancy, or a confession are all tried-and-tested shifts.  These make the relationship real as the stakes become personal.

6) Complications Ensue

In this second half of the story,  complications escalate. Old wounds, pressure, and mismatched needs start to pull them apart. Love alone isn’t enough.

7) The Break Up

All these problems lead to a break up. It feels inevitable because it comes from who they are, not just circumstance. It seems all is lost’, which in turn leads your characters to re-evaluate what’s important to them.

8) Self-Realisation

Self-Realisation comes next. Your characters may have to undergo a significant emotional change (though they don’t have to necessarily change fundamentally). The protagonist confronts their flaw or wound and understands what went wrong.

9) The Reunion

This leads your characters to reunite. They may get back together, safe in the knowledge their flaws or wounds have been dealt with. Alternatively, they may not and carry that knowledge forwards to a new relationship. Whatever happens here, they are no longer sabotaged by their own emotions.

An Important Pointer

‘Boy Meets Girl’ is not about simply ‘meeting someone’. It is about emotional change, not just attraction.

At its core, the story is simple: ‘I can’t love because of X, but if I face it, now I can.’ 

If you skip that internal engine, you just get two attractive people circling each other. Boo.

But Also Remember …

i) It doesn’t have to be heterosexual or cisgender

The archetype might be called ‘Boy Meets Girl’, but authors and screenwriters can flip it. It can be ‘Boy meets Boy’, ‘Girl Meets Girl’ or ‘Non Binary Person meets Non Binary Person’ (aka ‘Enby Meets Enby’), as well. Equally, it does not have to be just two people either (polyamory exists too!).

MORE: 10 Quick Tips On Writing Non Binary People

ii) There does not have to be a ‘Happy Ever After’ (HEA), *forever*

In some stories, the characters break up and stay that way. Instead, they learn from the mistakes they made in the relationship. In others, there is only a ‘Happy For Now’ (HFN). That’s okay!

iii) Romance is trope-heavy

Tropes do NOT have to equal cliché. In fact, readers in particular LOVE tropes such as forced proximity, ‘only one bed’, enemies to lovers, insta-love or many others. This is why tropes are frequently listed on Amazon blurbs or book ads.

Agents or publishers may ask writers to list the tropes they’ve used in their query letters, too. Understanding the power of tropes – using them, subverting them, why readers like them – is key in writing romance.

iv) Realism counts with modern readers and viewers

For decades, relationships in stories were heavily idealised. That was okay, because that was what we wanted. But nowadays, modern readers and viewers prize authenticity. Relationships are HARD. They want this simple truth reflected back at them (even if the story takes place in a fantasy or sci-fi world).

v) Most of us have had – or will have – more than one romantic relationship

Of course, some people get together as teenagers (‘high school sweethearts’), staying that way forever. That’s completely valid. However, it’s estimated this happens for only 10-20% of people in the UK (according to the Office of National Statistics). This means 80% of British people will have more than one romantic relationship in their lifetime. Stats are similar for much of the rest of the Western world.

vi) Other plotting archetypes exist!

‘Boy Meets Girl’ might be the favourite, but that doesn’t mean writers HAVE to use it. There’s always more ways to write the stories we want. My personal three favourites beyond ‘Boy Meets Girl’ are The Quest (aka The Hero’s Journey), Voyage & Return and Rebirth. We can also mix and match various beats from multiple sources if we want. Read more about them, HERE.

Good Luck!

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