Self-Doubt Versus Confidence
If you want to crush self-doubt and get more confident as a writer, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s some common beliefs of writers and how to crush them for good. Ready? Let’s go …
1) “I don’t know if my writing is good enough.”
I remember having self-doubt about my own writing. I agonised for ages about whether I was ‘good enough’.
Then someone said something very wise to me: ‘You don’t get to decide that.’
That person was absolutely right. It didn’t matter what I thought … it mattered what agents, producers, publishers, readers or viewers thought! All I had to do was give my writing to them.
So I did … and here’s the REALLY interesting thing: some of those people thought my writing was great. Others thought it sucked. Some didn’t even notice it was even there.
So really it didn’t matter if my writing was ‘good enough’. It just had to exist. Boom.
2) “I don’t know if I have what it takes.”
This is an interesting one, because what are we REALLY saying here … Perhaps:
- ‘Am I talented enough?’
- ‘Can I sustain my career?’
- ‘Can I get paid for writing?’
Those seem to be the most common questions hiding beneath. Well guess what, it’s not talent that sustains your career. It’s craft, yes but also networking, resilience and perseverance. And yes, you stick it out long enough and you’ll probably get paid for your writing at least once. Facts.
3) “I’m embarrassed to call myself a ‘real’ writer.”
Of course you are. Society tells us constantly we don’t have a ‘real’ job. It tells us all we do is play around and mess about. It claims any writer who wants to be paid for their work should give their stories away for free, too.
Hell, pro writers even say shit like ‘I’m JUST a writer, my husband/wife/spouse has the real job of teaching, nursing, police officer [INSERT SO-CALLED REAL JOB HERE].’
But here’s the thing. When the 2020 pandemic occurred, what did everyone not only WANT, but NEED?
That’s right … stories.
The world went through an appalling trauma. Millions of people were ill; lots died. Families and individuals could not see their loved ones. Everyone’s stabilising routines were literally junked overnight as we were confined to our homes.
But who was there for us? Oh, that’s right … CREATIVES.
Novels, TV shows and movies gave comfort to people all over the world. Now society might have already forgotten that, but don’t be complicit in your own erasure.
You’re a real writer. You always have been and you always will be … as long as you write. MORE: Repeat After Me: You ARE NOT An ‘Aspiring Writer’
4) “I’m struggling to find my creative voice again after taking time off.”
It’s common for any creative to struggle with self-doubt and confidence after a break. In my work with creatives, this is most common in female writers when they’ve taken time out to have children. However, ANY writer can struggle this way.
I frequently invite creatives to imagine their creativity like one of those toy sparking flywheels from the 1970s and 1980s. As the wheel goes around, they light up because the mechanism creates sparks.
But most crucially, the wheel only goes around causing those sparks because of the plunger. The user has to push it in and pull it out to create those sparks and the movement of the wheel.
- The plunger = your effort
- The spark = your creativity
In other words, you only get the creative stuff by putting the effort in. When you first start, the sparks are smallest. The longer you continue pushing the plunger, the bigger the sparks become.
So don’t be dissuaded by the fact it takes a while to get going again. Like the flywheel, the longer you stick at it, the more your brain will spark with great ideas. It’s PHYSICS, baby!
5) “I don’t receive any support from the people in my life.”
Ah, the classic. It’s so common as to be the norm when you’re a creative … largely because of #3 on this list, but also because we writers sometimes underestimate our own role in bridging this gap.
Too often, we assume that because writing is important to us, the people in our lives will automatically ‘get it’. This means we can be preoccupied with our goals and writing, which can feel like a slap in the face to our loved ones. Sometimes we take it too far by spending ALL our free time writing, too.
That’s why being open and transparent about our writing with our loved ones can pay dividends. We can take them on the journey WITH us (and not take the mick by spending all our free time writing!).
Of course, if we do the above and our loved ones WON’T get it, then that’s a different thing. But if we do the above and our loved ones join us on our quest for writing greatness … that’s one of the best ways to crush self-doubt forever.
