30 Years Of Friends
For many of us, it’s hard to believe Friends is 30 years old … but for others, it’s all too obvious. Comedy dates and 30 year old humour can sink like the Titanic.
But even 30 years on since its first broadcast on September 22nd, 1994, Friends seems to be as popular as ever in the social media age. There are countless accounts dedicated to the sitcom, some run by fans who weren’t even born when it started. (Hell, my youngest loves it and was born donkey’s years after it FINISHED!).
When I started writing case studies about Friends approximately five years ago, it was very fashionable to hate on the sitcom. The complaints were not all unfair: as mentioned, much of the humour has dated … it’s ‘unrealistic’ … it’s definitely not diverse.
But after the sad death of Matthew Perry (Chandler) in October 2023, it’s just as fair to say something shifted in public consciousness. People of all backgrounds took to social media to share their favourite memories of both Perry and the sitcom. Many of us said that the Friends crew felt like *our* friends when we didn’t have any.
So, as Friends hits 30 – what can writers learn? Ready … let’s go!
LESSON 1) Break New Ground
There are only so many stories in the world, so strong character development is key in breaking new ground.
However, developing six highly differentiated characters is no mean feat. The Friends are well-rounded, with strong backstories and varied traits. The show did this via judicious use of character archetypes, which might be the ‘norm’ now … but 30 years it was a whole different ballgame.
Nowadays, archetypal characterisation is not only sought after, it is the norm. But that doesn’t mean just churning out the ‘same-old, same-old’. Do your homework into character tropes, archetypes, stereotypes and more. MORE: How Friends Makes Character Archetypes Look Easy
Lesson 2) Use A Variety of Comedic Devices
I read a LOT of comedy spec screenplays. Whilst many writers nail the jokes part, they forget there is more to comedy than *just* dialogue.
This is where studying a classic show like Friends can come in. Whilst not every joke will land (now OR then), Friends was so much more than talk. Put simply, character behaviour is key to the comedy.
Friends also balanced situational comedy, slapstick and comedy of manners or errors seamlessly. This, plus its strong, lean plotting kept the narrative cohesive. If we’re writing comedy, this is a key reminder.
Lesson 3) Remember Character Arcs = Growth
What’s more, unlike most sitcoms or drama series, Friends is a ‘true’ ensemble in that there’s no overt protagonist or antagonist. Each member of the cast is given meaningful arcs of their own so they can ‘pull their weight’ in the story.
This in turn meant they all had considerable character growth throughout the ten seasons. Note however that ‘growth’ does not automatically mean change!!! MORE: No, Characters In Your Story DON’T Have To Change. Here’s Why
Lesson 4) Utilise Relatable Storylines
Whilst there were certain storylines that were ‘out there’, most of the time Friends was highly relatable to audiences.
The various situations all six friends found themselves in were everyday experiences, such as work struggles, relationships, parenting, financial worries or personal growth.
This relatability enabled the audience to put themselves in the characters’ place and is a key reminder for ALL writers in all genres and mediums.
Lesson 5) Use Running Gags and Catchphrases
Running gags and catchphrases are always popular with audiences. Joey’s ‘How you doin’?’ and Ross’ ‘We were on a break!’ became iconic … But more specialist lines such as ‘They don’t know that we know they know!’ or ‘I was backpacking in Western Europe’ were also mega popular.
The use in comedy is obvious, yet ANY genre or medium can benefit from running gags or catchphrases as a unique signature.
Lesson 6) Balance Comedy with Emotional Depth
30 years on, people frequently forget Friends tackled some serious subject matters. Infertility, suicide, depression, divorce, lone parenting, surrogacy, adoption, bereavement and family abandonment all appeared in the show.
But Friends blended these serious topics with emotional depth and humour WITHOUT seeming blasé or soap-boxy. We can learn from this in dealing with serious topics in our scripts and novels.
Lesson 7) Don’t Forget Pacing And Timing!
Throughout its ten-season run, Friends maintained a steady pace, with well-timed jokes and pauses that enhanced its comedic effect. Whilst especially important in comedy, the rhythm of ANY narrative is key in keeping a potential audience engaged.
Unfortunately, many spec screenplays and novels frequently forget about pacing and timing altogether.
Lesson 8) Creating A Sense of Place
It’s no accident you can still find people on Tiktok trying to recreate Monica’s apartment. Whether they’re trying to do so in their real homes or virtual homes, it’s because the various locations in Friends are SO well done.
Settings like the cosy Central Perk, through to Ross’ bachelor pad or Chandler and Joey’s skanky flat become familiar and integral to the story.
Sense of place is SO important to any good story, not just sitcom. Imagining your storyworld and ensuring your viewer or reader is ‘anchored’ is key.
Lesson 9) Write Evolving Relationships
It used to be that everything ‘reset to zero’ in sitcoms. That’s why classic sitcom families like The Simpsons never change for real. (The kids might sometimes grow up or the family even die/go to hell, but crucially everything goes ‘back to normal’ by the next episode).
Friends was one of the first to buck this trend in modern sitcoms. In the show, character relationships evolve naturally over time, affecting the storyline. This includes the iconic ‘Will they/won’t they?’ of Ross and Rachel, but also ‘Mondler’ (Monica and Chandler).
Whether we’re writing a sitcom, serious drama series or even a novel, relationships need to feel real and authentic. An evolving relationship INVOLVES the viewer or reader.
Lesson 10) Don’t Underestimate Theme
Again, it’s true that Friends has dated in terms of humour, because comedy always does. It’s also true the show reflects the societal norms and issues of its time 30 years ago. It’s even true that some of those norms and issues have also dated, because society has moved on.
However, it’s important to note that Friends was largely a left-leaning, progressive comedy for its time. This means that some of its themes are still relevant and relatable, even though we live in a very different world now.
Friends was the first popular show to feature a lesbian wedding, plus its commentary on mental health and suicide is still on the button. In addition, it popularised the idea of the ‘yummy mummy’ – ie. women don’t have to become sexless when they become mothers. MORE: Why Theme in Friends Is Better Than You Think
Last Points
Love or loathe Friends, it has much to teach us as writers. There are not many shows that can last a whopping 30 years in popular culture, finding new audiences decades after it finished.
By studying these aspects of Friends, writers can enhance their storytelling techniques and create engaging, memorable storylines and characters that resonate with audiences.
