NEWSFLASH: ‘Description’ is the wrong word!
One wrong belief many screenwriters have is that ‘description’ is really the wrong word when it comes to those pesky prose bits of our screenplays. This wrong belief that we have to DESCRIBE everything in a scene is literally holding us back!
It ends up making us do these script killers …
- ‘Set dressing’ when it comes to things physically in it that have no bearing on story (yawn!)
- ‘False movement’ aka a list of moving body parts (especially shrugging, raised eyebrows and other fillers)
- Pointless and extraneous details like what characters are wearing
If ‘what we SEE is what we get’ in scripts (and it is), then in real terms we need to think action. Because in contrast to novels, in movies and TV shows, we are literally see characters and events play out in front of our eyes
This means as screenwriters, we should be thinking NOT of scene ‘description’, but SCENE ACTION.
Get Visual!
Lots of Bang2writers then complain that if they can’t do the above, then what the hell ARE they supposed to write??
The answer? VISUALS!!
But okay, okay — HOW to do this? Well, why not check out the very beginning of THIS scene…
Here’s the issues with the above:
Here’s how you *could* make it more visual:
You can see the difference. Here we have imagery that SHOWS US who these characters are, right off the bat.
Ryan is getting ready at work, so he’s probably not been home. He’s humming, so he’s not stressed or worried or running late. This suggests the idea he’s a ladies man … But the fact he has his razor at work and a pressed, clean shirt means he does this sort of thing all the time.
Similarly, Andy ‘swaggers’ in. This word hints at the notion he’s very sure of himself, plus he’s not surprised to see Ryan doing this in the police bathroom. Also the word ‘superior’ suggests Andy is older than Ryan and probably more experienced. We can then back this up in the way they behave next in the scene and what they say.
In other words, we have visual writing in that last scene excerpt … which gives us SCENE ACTION.
So, stop believing it’s about DESCRIPTION
It’s not! The best screenplays do NOT contain ‘description’ … This leads to ‘set dressing’ with all the extraneous detail that entails, plus ‘false movement’ where actors are moved around in scenes like wooden marionettes. BORING.
So let go of this wrong belief and you will embrace visual writing, which means your screenplays will be full of scene action Boom!!!
Good Luck!
Stuff like this will save me for sure and make the difference between quarterfinalist and semi-finalist. This is how I would write that.
A razor gets rinsed off under a running tap. Ryan, shirtless, applies it to his foamy face, humming. A clean, pressed shirt hangs on a towel rail. The bathroom door crashes inward, which leaves a dent in the wall.
Feels like the razor was rinsing itself. Now I need to go back and review character descriptions but I bet that’s the other breaker. Cheers. 🙂
You’re welcome 😉 Also, when it comes to descriptions of imagery, there are certain suspensions of disbelief – ie. a razor is inanimate, so someone *must* be holding it. But sure, I get what you mean.