There are only so many days of your life.
We all know this.
But we don’t KNOW it … Not until it smacks us in the face.
And if you’re lucky, then you will still have chance to have more days – because of the efforts of clever people like doctors & nurses; or because a hero or heroine has stepped in and saved the day. And you will be okay after all and you thank God or fate or just plain luck for it.
But in those moments of realisation – I could have died just then – there will come yet more realisations, a veritable cascade: have I done “enough” with my life? Am I happy? Who am I? And on and on – and you can’t unlearn them.
So you have to make changes. Because there are only so many days of your life and you know this so completely now that it seems absolutely absurd you didn’t know this before. It wasn’t even that you “wasted” your life – but you were so caught up in the little things: those resentments & irritations that made life just that bit more difficult; those worries that kept you awake at night and sapped your energy. You weren’t miserable; but you weren’t not miserable either. You did everything you were supposed to, but instead of looking out at life and how amazing it is, all you saw was an uphill struggle.
Life is short.
We know this … But we don’t know it.
I know I didn’t. The memory of 2012 will stay with me for the rest of my life. Lots of great things happened for me on a writing level; yet weirdly, even though I had worked so hard for so long to set those things up and even wrote a new novel, writing didn’t even really figure on the scale for me. It was the personal things that remain. A terrible illness; a move cross-county; a new lease of life. And strangely, the last two could never have happened had the first not.
It was the worst year ever. It was the best year ever.
Because I’m still here. And I’m making changes.
Here’s to you and yours.