WRITER 2: (quietly) Actually I read it/did it and found it quite helpful.
WRITER 1: Yeah, well, I don’t so I’m gonna tell you: YOU’RE AN IDIOT.
WRITER 2: Well, that’s not very nice.
WRITER 1: Sorry, you’re forcing my hand. If you believe in all these formulas and whatnot for success, you’re an arse.
WRITER 2: Except, I never actually said that did I? I said I thought the book/course was quite helpful. I didn’t say I believed it 100%. William Goldman said no one knows anything and I get that. But I also think there are people who might have something interesting or useful to say, especially if they’re actually doing what I want to do. Why is their experience not worth anything?
WRITER 1: Um, I never said that.
WRITER 2: Um, yes you did. You said they were frauds.
WRITER 1: Well … that’s all and good, but for every *sensible* person like you then, there will be HUNDREDS OF NEWBIES taken in by this crap and they will be left horribly disappointed when their work doesn’t sell and they’re left living in THEIR OWN SWILL.
WRITER 2: But shouldn’t we be looking at our OWN work and thinking it about in our OWN way – which includes reading books and blogs and whatnot – if that’s what we want to do, individually? Personally I like looking at everything I can and deciding what I think does AND doesn’t work.
WRITER 1: Except it’s just procrastination! It takes us away from the real stuff – ACTUAL WRITING. If it was as easy as these supposed Gurus and bloggers reckoned, we’d all be doing it, right?
WRITER 2: Well, quite a lot of us are. If there wasn’t a market for it, they wouldn’t write the books. Or the blogs. Or hold the courses. Right?
WRITER 1: See, you’re getting it now! They’re like PARASITES, sucking away at our talent! If these story guys were SO into story, they wouldn’t be doing it for MONETARY GAIN.
WRITER 2: Right. ‘Cos when you work in the media, you don’t have mortgages or rent or childcare or food or hall rental or anything like that. And anyway, Bloggers don’t get paid for the most part. They give hundreds of posts of info away for free. By the way, have you actually read or done any of these books or courses you’re attacking?
WRITER 1: No. I don’t need to. *I* can recognise them as THE FRAUDS THEY ARE.
WRITER 2: I give up.