Husband goes out to the car to go to work. I follow.
ME: What shall we have for dinner?
Husband is not listening. As usual.
HUSBAND: Blimey, not as chilly as yesterday.
ME: How about chilli?
HUSBAND: Yeah. It’s not as chilly as yesterday.
ME: No. Chilli?
HUSBAND: Do you ever listen, woman?
ME: You halfwit: I’m asking if you want chilli!
HUSBAND: No, I prefer it in the summer.
ME: DO YOU WANT EFFIN CHILLI FOR DINNER?
HUSBAND: Oh. Sure. Love you, ‘bye…
Make his extra spicey, then he’ll pay more attention next time…
I would do, but his stomach and mouth seem to be made of asbestos, so he’d never notice…
Acck… this constant man-bashing.
We’re very simple creatures… you want our attention, you have to shout ‘Oi!’ first. Or dance naked in front of the TV.
N.B. Both of these may not actually work.
Constant?!? Darren you are too sensitive…
Anyway, last time I danced naked* in front of the telly he told me to get out of the way cos GORDON RAMSAY’S KITCHEN EFFING NIGHTMARES was on.
*This is a completely true story. Though I may have actually had clothes on and only got in the way of the telly by means of closing the curtains.
Shyeah, you bet ‘constant’… don’t make me go huntin’ through your blog… 🙂
My wife actually did dance naked in front of the TV once, when I was XBoxing… I just thought I’d reached the boss level.