All these are 100% GENUINE: what’s scarier: the fact Searchers find these words on my blog or the fact that I’ve collected all of these SINCE ONLY LAST WEDNESDAY? [Nb. Actual keyword searches are in italics.] Enjoy…
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Mistress Vee

A dominatrix

Tell us like it is

Because

I’m f***ing Matt Damon

and

Mrs. McClusky

while taking

another bubble bath with my pants on.

I must

Kill Dave

Because I’m a

Triad Manchester Chinese

And if

Monster movies reflect current social fears

then

what a travel agent might say at work

suddenly becomes

super sexual dialogue

for

talking dirty scripts

and

werewolf sex

is always

chitty chi

whereas

naked firemen

are

notes on the nose

and not to mention

apostrophe d’oh.
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I’m thinking of entering this post into The Bridport Prize. Think I can win? ; )