As anyone knows who reads this blog, I am a sucker for memes so many thanks to Helen for dragging me away from my current secret work in order to answer this. This meme requires its participants to list five things about themselves that others may consider lame, but the writer is secretly proud of. Gulp. Here goes:
5. I cannot drive a car. Lots of people lambast me about this, including my mother-in-law who says I “owe it to myself” to drive (question: why??) and whilst I say I’m actually thinking of the environment, in truth I actually hate driving and cannot be trusted behind the wheel of a car, as at least two of my driving instructors will testify. So I’m the girl who cannot be taught to drive. Hah! In your face Jeremy Clarkson and all other petrolheads.
4. The C Word. When I was a girl you never heard the C word in conversation (at least in the circles I moved in), saw it written down or heard it on the telly, even after 9 o’clock. Now I had a reading age of 15 when I was 8 and worked out, for myself, that the C word must be “copulate”. I recall telling my mother this with glee and her pretending to be annoyed that I had “found out”. Aaaah. I still laugh when I see the word “copulate” however as well as the real one.
3. I know all the words to “U Got The Look” by Prince. Even the ones that don’t appear to make much sense. But hey, your body’s heck-to-slamming. Crucial. I think I want you.
2. I believe I have been rejected by all the major agents at least once. Some even more so. In fact, it’s really because they rejected me five times in eighteen months that PFD’s agents have all left, outraged that I am not taken on – and not this other thing they’ve obviously made up to cover their grievous error.
1. I resist all technological advances. Even though I know full well I will like the “latest” thing, I will never, ever sign up volunarily and wait for circumstances to push me into it. I have had the same mobile for four years and will only change it when it breaks. I only got digital TV this year because my mother got us a digibox for Xmas; I finally got broadband only because dial-up became impossibly slow and I only joined Facebook because I got about ten invites a week to do so. I will never, ever, ever own an iPod.