So, since the treacherous Andrew called me The Dragon Lady on the SP Screenwriters’ Bulletin this week, I thought it best to dispel this myth that I will scorch your script into ash. I won’t.
But I will chop it into little pieces.
Why? ‘Cos a script is the sum of its parts. It has to be. I might always bang on about stuff like structure (much to the chagrin of the mysterious DD it appears! Loving your work darling btw, MWAH), but a good script is bomb-proof. A reader should slice and dice your script, stick it back together and see if it stands up – and a good script brushes itself down and says, “Is that all you got punk?!” However, if you’re left with a pile of mush instead of a script, you know you have a problem. If it’s standing, but weak and in need of a cup of tea and a sit down, you still have a problem. But hey: it’s better to know, right?
And there are always scripts that resist my very special script axe. I might be able to chop a finger here or a toe there, but at the end of my treatment they’re still very much alive and LAUGHING IN MY FACE, DAMN THEM!
And I’ve had the scripts that have fallen to mush myself. I know what it feels like to get coverage, look at your screenplay, sees its flaws in a whole new light and say, “You know what? I don’t think I’m going to pursue this story after all.” It’s disappointing at the time, but worth it in the end since you can move on to a more worthwhile story to tell.
But that’s why I am never one of those vitriolic readers you hear the horror stories about. A script is someone’s dream, printed on paper or wrapped up in a PDF. I respect that. That’s why Bang2write will never tell you your script is crap. Because, guess what? No script is crap. Every script is part of someone’s journey as a writer – whether that’s to option, funding or improving one’s craft, thus all are worth something. Even if many never see the light of day.
So think of me not so much as a script doctor but your very own script buster. Now’s a good time if you want me, else I might actually get time to write something of my own. And we wouldn’t want that, would we boys and girls!?